The *real* news today

Today, a shameful cover-up and conspiracy has finally been brought into the light.

The police and ambulance service, politicians, and press, conspired to lie to cover up their failings and complicity in the deaths of 96 people. For twenty-three years, this terrible, shameful lie has persisted, despite the efforts of the families to uncover what really happened

Finally, the truth has come out, one of the biggest national scandals of the last quarter century, surely it's such dramatic news that it would take over the front pages of some of the biggest newspapers in the country...

BUT FUCK THAT, THERE'S A NEW IPHONE OUT!